I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
