gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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