PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
