also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think i have two assholes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
