i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
