so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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