Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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