Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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