I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
