i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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