Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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