I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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