singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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