The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can text with my tongue
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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