We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
