Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
