she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
