so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
