Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
