I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
