So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
