Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
