Sponge bath it is.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
