I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
