there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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