Define "chronic" masturbator.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
