im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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