I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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