dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
