this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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