At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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