He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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