I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
