Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We have so much sex to catch up on
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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