Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
