I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
