My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
