ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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