the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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