Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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