So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
