Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
