She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
