Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
