okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize