We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
