Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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