p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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