Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
