i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
