If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
