Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
