I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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