But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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