i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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