Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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