I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
