he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
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His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need to calm my uterus...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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