A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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