I hope mine doesn't look like that
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
