I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
