You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Pants 0. Shit 1.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
