Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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